Where I am

So I haven't written anything on here in about a month and a half. There have been several things I've been meaning to write but haven't had the time or completely forgot about writing it. I hope to post some of those things soon. The last 5 weeks have been pretty hard for me. I cannot really say exactly why except that being pregnant has made me moody and feel awful. I honestly don't feel like myself at all in any ways. My relationship with the Lord has been stagnant as my focus has gone from Him to how I feel. Work has also been so stressful lately that when I'm home I tend to be in the corner thinking "woe is me and my completely stressful and sick feeling life." It's sad to me that I'm more focused on how I feel than the fact that I have someone growing inside of me. It reminds me again how selfish I really am. It's sad I'm so selfish I'm complaining about sharing my body with someone else. I feel like things are looking up though as I have realized my stinky attitude and have cried out to the Lord more in the past week than I have in months. I realize how I much I rely on myself and my strength when times get tough instead of calling out to Him and asking for His everlasting strength. I feel like I'm actually hearing His voice more, maybe because I'm actually listening right now. Work has also been a little slower the last few nights which has made life more enjoyable all around and the fact that I'm only scheduled for 36 hours this week instead of 48 makes my attitude 100 times better. I still want my attitude to be the same no matter how much I work. I want peace and to stop staring at my "tight spot" and focusing completely on the Lord. Jesus has been the One that has helped me change my attitude this week. I was reading about him in Matthew the other night and I couldn't help but to be brought to tears at His compassion and love for us. There will be alot more to that coming soon though.